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  • strawberry fields

    Eating strawberries will make you very thin.

  • dogs on a bed

    If you don’t let your dogs sleep on your bed, they will bite you in the morning. Also, all your friends will die.

  • wine barrels

    Barrels of monkeys really aren’t that fun, and they can squish you.

  • bus station

    Bus stations are excellent places to meet new friends.

  • discovery museum

    If you can’t see people, they can’t see you.

  • monk

    Monks dress funny, but they provide excellent shade.

  • vineyards

    Now you never have to read “Grapes of Wrath.”

  • lawn bowling

    Old people play strange games.

  • cows

    You get chocolate milk from brown cows.

  • dunes

    If your friends buy identical pickup trucks, God will watch over you.

  • los alamos

    In Spanish “Los Alamos” means “The Alamos.”

  • us101

    Where Flat Stanley lives they have teeny-tiny roads.

  • mission

    Fly softly and carry a BIG shadow.

  • cafe

    You should always eat a lot at the theater.

  • police station

    Many people feel like flying when they leave the police station.

  • hamburger

    If you only eat here, you will always be happy.

  • library

    If you read too much, you will turn to stone.

Life’s Little Quirks

Saturdays can be bizarre enough for computer geeks, but when they live near the beach, and it has been raining all day, well true oddness can emerge. For example, this is what happens on a rainy Saturday when your friend has a niece in grade school: You end up getting dragged into a “Flat Stanley” project. In case you do not happen to be familiar with this, basically an adorable young relative mails you a crayon-colored “Stanley” whereupon you get to travel all over town taking pictures of the paper creature in different locations. You then get to write up an account of Stanley’s travels, thereby essentially doing the kid’s homework for her. … Where was this racket when we were young, right?

Getting Technical About Photo Display

Creating an image slider for sets with an odd number of pictures, and of both portrait and landscape orientation, can be tricky to do with any sort of elegance. We have built a few of them over the years, and … um … as a matter of explanation (if not altogether “excuse”), this would be one of those.

For the record, the former kindergarten teacher among us arbitrarily declared our captions “not suitable for a first grader” so she made up an alternate set of boring ones that she actually sent in with the project. Should we not be teaching our young the value of sarcasm and irony?